Montana Wedding

(this is from an e-mail exchange we had sometime in 2000)

I've been trying to articulate something that's always bothered me a little
about "Montana Wedding", and that is the part of the chorus that goes

Dad waits and Mother she worries
But he held her father when he lost his mind

The first line is in the present tense and the second line is in the past
tense, even though it takes place after the events in the first line.  Also,
the immediate personalization with "Dad" and "Mother" seems a little out of
left field, since it immediately reveals that the narrator can't possibly
have been there, unless, of course, the wedding was *really* late, and might
be distracting as the audience starts wondering about this before hearing
the rest of the song..  And the level of personalization in some way seems
to detract from the imagery, although I can't quite put my finger on why.
Maybe because their prime role in this tableau is as bride and groom, not as
mother and father.  My suggestion would be something to the effect

See the groom waiting, you know the bride's worried
But he'll hold her father when he loses his mind

or possibly

See the groom pacing,  the bride's tears of worry

I'm making these suggestions without any claim of co-authorship should you
decide to implement them. The real punch of this song is the image of the
bride waiting, the priest getting drunk and the future mother-in-law locked
in the closet.  The fact that it's *our* mother and father is sort ancillary
to that image, IMHO.   The audience will suspect that anyway, and when they
find out, it will give them the sense of being in on a secret.

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> good idea.  i like the second (see the groom pacing) line.
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"See the groom pacing, the brides hands are shaking"

might be better, now that I think about it, since it *shows* the worry
rather than telling about it.

> I don't think I like that because hand could be shaking because she's a
> giddy bride, drugged out, nervous about the weddinng blah blah.
> need to say worries i think